


Forever, somehow.

by MarauderCracker



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Gen, Set within Hawkeye 15, spoilers for the Ultimate verse (pre Cataclysm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 13:18:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1819852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarauderCracker/pseuds/MarauderCracker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her favorite color is purple, and his favorite color is purple, but it's not their favorite color. The name was a coincidence, the bow was a coincidence. They aren't meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever, somehow.

He wouldn't go as far as saying that they are meant to be. It's not that he's above sentimentality, or that he doesn't believe in fate. He's jaded and cynical, yes, but still believes in some things. He believes they can be better together than they have been apart. But he also knows that nothing, not even death, is permanent. He knows nothing, not even death, not even partnerships, not even love, is forever. It still hurts when she walks out on him.

 

Her favorite color is purple, and his favorite color is purple, but it's not  _their_ favorite color. The name was a coincidence, the bow was a coincidence. There have been times when she's thought they are meant to live together, there have been times when she's thought they are meant to die together. When she would have taken a bullet for him, when he would have drowned to keep her afloat. There have been times where she's been sure they would've ended up killing each other. She tries not to feel jaded, not to become cynical. She tries to believe they will have another chance. But she still walks out on him.

 

There are infinite possible outcomes. He knows this. If Clint asked, if he swooped past Avengers Tower and spoke with Parker, he'd know there is an universe where his favorite color is red. His suit is red and his ledger is red and he wears a target in his forehead. He doesn't know Kate. And Parker wouldn't know this, because he didn't stay in that universe long enough to find out, but Kate's favorite color is also red. She wears scarlet streaks in her hair and practices archery for fun. She doesn't grow jaded and cynical. He loses his mind. In that universe, he gets himself killed in a hunt for revenge, she never takes his name. 

 

They are not meant to be. She's always known this. She's walked through countless realities, shot alternative versions of herself between the eyes. She's seen herself die. She's been in a world where Clint doesn't die, where she doesn't need to pick up his legacy. She's had coffee in this world, in this Earth that was just recovering from a Chitauri attack. She remembers Teddy's wide eyes, she remembers following his gaze.

In that world, Kate looked like she couldn't afford to practice archery or ever learn to play the cello. Like she'd scrambled her last few bucks to pay for Starbucks and have a chance to charge her phone. In that world, she'd been watching the news with tired eyes, listening attentively as the reporter narrated the events. "The superhero known as Hawkeye has since dropped from the map. Stark hasn't made any statements in his regard." That Kate had shook her head and watched away, back to the barista. "Superheroes are stupid," the barista had commented, and the other Kate had nodded.

 

Every time someone knocks on the door, every time the phone rings, he prays it's her. As if he believed in prayer. As if he believed she'd come back. It's never her, though. There are ghosts waiting on his door and threats breathing from the other side of the line. Death looming over the neighborhood. He thinks he should have hugged her before she left. At least once, just as a goodbye. He should have told her that they are not meant to be, that she's meant for greatness and he's just a shadow, just a loser who's gonna get himself killed any day now. He thinks Katie might have been the greatest partner he'd ever had, and he'll never get the chance to tell her. Then, he hears the shotgun. 

 

There are other possible endings. There is probably a world where she's smarter, braver. Where she's not as scarred. Where she stays. There is, maybe, a world where their lives aren't as infinitely screwed up. Where he doesn't let her down, where he takes the shot and doesn't fail, where he asks her to stay. But she's living in this one, and she can't imagine life without this loser in it.

She doesn't believe they are meant to be, but she does want to. She wants to think that, at least in this one universe, at least this time, the coincidences are part of a bigger thing. Because she can only hope that there are higher forces rooting for them. Helping her, granting a safe passageway across the country, to his side. L.A. is a burning skyline, but she doesn't look back. 


End file.
